more crap I hate

Thanks to my new blog follower, fred, I've been inspired to talk about more crap I hate. Actually, between the positive feedback and the facebook 'top 5 things I hate that everyone else seems to love' ... I have all the inspiration I need.

And, quite frankly, all this poetic introspective waxing is wrecking my reputation for being full of sarcasm and moxie.

Texting

First of all, is that even a word? Spell check doesn't seem to think so - perhaps it's made-up; much like your life when you are 'communicating' over the phone in cryptic, misspelled words and poor punctuation. You have the phone IN YOUR HAND...put it TO YOUR EAR, for god's sake!

Cake

More than anything, I just don't care about cake. I love the look of cakes. I marvel at the sight of people baking and decorating them. It's art! I just have no interest in putting that sweet mess into my mouth. It's called a 'Pie Hole' for a reason - that's where the pie goes.

Skim milk, Margarine & Low Fat Dairy Products

 
I know I may be in the minority of the American population, but this obsession with keeping fats out of the diet (meanwhile sluggin' down a quarter pounder and chasing it with a diet coke) has gone too far. I like whole milk. I drink my coffee with half & half (though I prefer heavy whipping cream) and like butter because it's actually natural and tastes like something besides some fakey oil product or watered-down version of something perfectly delicious. And guess what - my body knows how to process that stuff. It's magic. Yay.

Heels

I like pretty, pretty shoes as much as the next girl - but most heels just plain SUCK. They hurt my feet. They hurt my back. In an interview in BUST magazine, Francis McDormond said that she only wore heels when she was lounging.
Smart, smart woman.

The Dog That Eats My Underpants

Elvis and have have come a long way. And let me be clear, I do NOT hate Elvis. He's a great dog. But he has a dark, alter ego that does really, really bad things. That dog is The Dog That Eats My Underpants. After 35 pairs of delicates were destroyed, along with yoga pants, leggings and the like...I just stopped counting. No, he doesn't eat the entire thing - no...just the 'good part'.

Disgusting.
Truly.

Eeew.

Comments

[Karen]

Texting, my pet peeve! Even worse are the people that just assume everyone else has a text plan and sends you messages that you end up getting charged for. :( If someone can spend the time to type me a message on their phone, they can dial the 7 or 10 digits and talk to me verbally.